I'm growing, and I don't like it
I'm growing, and it hurts
I love You, but I'm tired
Guess I've got a lot to learn
Guess I've got a lot to learn
"Growing" -- Wayne Watson
Forgive me if I ramble on here.
Anyone who is a parent feel like they could do better?
After a long day at work, I most often want to just zone out. Just because I've been gone for 11 hours doesn't leave me that option, though. Tonight it was I walk in the door and Carrie leaves a minute or two later for a meeting at church. Tonight it was feeling antsy for some reason and not knowing why. Trying to have an attempt at a devotional at bedtime as a four year old uses me for a personal jungle gym. (All you moms are out there smiling at this point.) And I later asked the four year old, otherwise known as Dana, if she missed Daddy today. And she said, "Yes."
I just want to be a good father, and I get in the way so much of the time. I just want to raise her and her sister in a Christian way, without anyone else interfering. (Ok, off of the soap box now.)
And I feel like that I have no clue what I'm doing.
And maybe the Creator said to me, "Do you get it now?"
Yes, I do. Lesson learned...a bit.
Still growing...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Seasons...
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven...
Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV
October is here. I like fall -- maybe because my birthday is here. With the coming of October means the end of baseball season. Playoffs are here, but still, no more baseball. (Ugh.) I have been a Cincinnati Reds fan for over 30 years -- could even quote you the lineup from the '75 team (including position). I like baseball because it is baseball -- structure yet so much happening within that framework. So much like chess -- strategy, move and countermove. And there's the ooh and ah factor when someone hits a home run.
Fall means change. Change into rain gear which I have done twice within the past week at work. (And still come home wet.) Change into colder weather, leaves falling, the smell of bonfires -- all little reminders.
Season of changes for me as well. Learning how to be a husband. Learning about the nuclear diaper. (You parents know what I'm talking about.) Seeing my oldest now going to school. And learning more and more -- sometimes the hard way -- that I can't do life alone. It might work for the Lone Ranger, but not for me anymore. It is a lesson that I have learned and am still learning.
I need my wife. I need my daughters. I need my family and friends.
And most of all, I need Jesus.
Whatever the season.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV
October is here. I like fall -- maybe because my birthday is here. With the coming of October means the end of baseball season. Playoffs are here, but still, no more baseball. (Ugh.) I have been a Cincinnati Reds fan for over 30 years -- could even quote you the lineup from the '75 team (including position). I like baseball because it is baseball -- structure yet so much happening within that framework. So much like chess -- strategy, move and countermove. And there's the ooh and ah factor when someone hits a home run.
Fall means change. Change into rain gear which I have done twice within the past week at work. (And still come home wet.) Change into colder weather, leaves falling, the smell of bonfires -- all little reminders.
Season of changes for me as well. Learning how to be a husband. Learning about the nuclear diaper. (You parents know what I'm talking about.) Seeing my oldest now going to school. And learning more and more -- sometimes the hard way -- that I can't do life alone. It might work for the Lone Ranger, but not for me anymore. It is a lesson that I have learned and am still learning.
I need my wife. I need my daughters. I need my family and friends.
And most of all, I need Jesus.
Whatever the season.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Surprise!
God has a wild imagination
Come and see
Come and be surprised...
"Wild Imagination" -- Scott Krippayne
Maybe this is proof that I am a writer -- mental block has hit me. So what does a writer do? Look for inspiration... I like the above song -- something different.
I am not only shaped by my faith, but also by my age group. And sometimes the two combine with my selection of music. I like to think that I have a rich musical heritage (listening and NOT singing or playing). I grew up in the United Methodist Church, and my mother's father was a preacher in a small holiness denomination, so I grew up with the best of both worlds. And even though I am not a singer, I LOVE it when our church sings "There Is Power In The Blood" with a banjo in the background, and I am in there with the rest.
My contribution? CCM. After I became a believer, I started out with B.J. Thomas and Amy Grant. Later, I discovered Michael W. Smith, and have been to about four of his concerts. And I could go on.
But the big discovery was Amazon. Books and so much more, and older CCM all there online, used but perfectly playable, and all for the buying...like a boy in a candy store being told that he could get whatever he wanted. So many things to discover...
How's that for an opening?
Reminders from my music collection...
...that I have always been loved.
...that my oldest daughter has the heart of a princess.
...that someone wants to spend the rest of their life with me.
...that love sometimes hurts, but it is so worth it.
...that someday I will see my Captain, the One who makes my sins as white as snow.
And all that is mine right now.
Surprise!
Come and see
Come and be surprised...
"Wild Imagination" -- Scott Krippayne
Maybe this is proof that I am a writer -- mental block has hit me. So what does a writer do? Look for inspiration... I like the above song -- something different.
I am not only shaped by my faith, but also by my age group. And sometimes the two combine with my selection of music. I like to think that I have a rich musical heritage (listening and NOT singing or playing). I grew up in the United Methodist Church, and my mother's father was a preacher in a small holiness denomination, so I grew up with the best of both worlds. And even though I am not a singer, I LOVE it when our church sings "There Is Power In The Blood" with a banjo in the background, and I am in there with the rest.
My contribution? CCM. After I became a believer, I started out with B.J. Thomas and Amy Grant. Later, I discovered Michael W. Smith, and have been to about four of his concerts. And I could go on.
But the big discovery was Amazon. Books and so much more, and older CCM all there online, used but perfectly playable, and all for the buying...like a boy in a candy store being told that he could get whatever he wanted. So many things to discover...
How's that for an opening?
Reminders from my music collection...
...that I have always been loved.
...that my oldest daughter has the heart of a princess.
...that someone wants to spend the rest of their life with me.
...that love sometimes hurts, but it is so worth it.
...that someday I will see my Captain, the One who makes my sins as white as snow.
And all that is mine right now.
Surprise!
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Watch me, Daddy!
So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or from away from it.
2 Corinthians 5:9
If you were to ask my wife or my sister about how I am in the mornings, let's just say that the answers would not be very complimentary toward me. I am not the most pleasant person to be around, and the brain cells are not firing at full speed. But for some reason this Sunday morning, my brain started connecting some dots that needed connecting. (That, in itself, is a miracle.) And a side thank you to my oldest Dana, our bed, and Aaron Shust.
The latter is a singer that I have been listening to for about four or five years, and I especially like his latest CD. Dana is my firstborn, four years old, and tons of energy to boot. Some of that energy is expended using Mommy and Daddy's bed as a trampoline. Most often, that is, with music. Enter Mr. Shust, with his song "To God Alone," which I had playing on the stereo as I was brushing my teeth as Dana was jumping on the bed.
But Dana wanted me to see her jumping. So she let me know about it, saying "Watch me, Daddy!"
And I watched her. And I heard what song was playing.
And then the holy moment happened.
I realized that Dana wanted her daddy's attention. She wanted to please Daddy. And believe me, she did.
I so much want to please my Daddy -- my Abba. But unlike my daughter, I so often don't...even when He is watching.
Yet despite my multiple sins and stubbornness, I still want to please Him. And He is still my Daddy.
Jump away, Dana. Jump away.
2 Corinthians 5:9
If you were to ask my wife or my sister about how I am in the mornings, let's just say that the answers would not be very complimentary toward me. I am not the most pleasant person to be around, and the brain cells are not firing at full speed. But for some reason this Sunday morning, my brain started connecting some dots that needed connecting. (That, in itself, is a miracle.) And a side thank you to my oldest Dana, our bed, and Aaron Shust.
The latter is a singer that I have been listening to for about four or five years, and I especially like his latest CD. Dana is my firstborn, four years old, and tons of energy to boot. Some of that energy is expended using Mommy and Daddy's bed as a trampoline. Most often, that is, with music. Enter Mr. Shust, with his song "To God Alone," which I had playing on the stereo as I was brushing my teeth as Dana was jumping on the bed.
But Dana wanted me to see her jumping. So she let me know about it, saying "Watch me, Daddy!"
And I watched her. And I heard what song was playing.
And then the holy moment happened.
I realized that Dana wanted her daddy's attention. She wanted to please Daddy. And believe me, she did.
I so much want to please my Daddy -- my Abba. But unlike my daughter, I so often don't...even when He is watching.
Yet despite my multiple sins and stubbornness, I still want to please Him. And He is still my Daddy.
Jump away, Dana. Jump away.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Birthdays
Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12
I still remember the gift that I received for my 8th birthday -- a watch. It was not just any watch, but a watch that had a teeter-totter instead of a second hand. Couldn't tell you why I remembered that or where it went to, but for some reason that watch is stuck in my brain.
The next eight days in the family have two birthdays -- my bride's in eight days, and mine being tomorrow. Number 42 for me. So lots of celebrating ahead. (Maybe needing a fire extinguisher to blow out the candles??)
There was a song that was played for Carrie and I at our wedding called "Life Means So Much" by Chris Rice. I'm a big fan of Mr. Rice and have been for a few years, "accidentally" discovering him in a mail order music club catalog. At the end of the song there is a phrase that I think could apply to not only marriages but ourselves as individuals:
Every day is a gift you've been given
Make the most of the time every minute you're livin'
Almost 42 and I still need to learn that.
For Carrie (and if anyone else wants to read it, that's ok):
You have seen me in some of my most trying times. You know that I am not the easiest man to live with, and through it all, I know that you love me. You know when I need a hug, and you know that I sometimes need a swift kick in the behind.
I love you, I love you, I love you. Happy (early) birthday, my bride.
Psalm 90:12
I still remember the gift that I received for my 8th birthday -- a watch. It was not just any watch, but a watch that had a teeter-totter instead of a second hand. Couldn't tell you why I remembered that or where it went to, but for some reason that watch is stuck in my brain.
The next eight days in the family have two birthdays -- my bride's in eight days, and mine being tomorrow. Number 42 for me. So lots of celebrating ahead. (Maybe needing a fire extinguisher to blow out the candles??)
There was a song that was played for Carrie and I at our wedding called "Life Means So Much" by Chris Rice. I'm a big fan of Mr. Rice and have been for a few years, "accidentally" discovering him in a mail order music club catalog. At the end of the song there is a phrase that I think could apply to not only marriages but ourselves as individuals:
Every day is a gift you've been given
Make the most of the time every minute you're livin'
Almost 42 and I still need to learn that.
For Carrie (and if anyone else wants to read it, that's ok):
You have seen me in some of my most trying times. You know that I am not the easiest man to live with, and through it all, I know that you love me. You know when I need a hug, and you know that I sometimes need a swift kick in the behind.
I love you, I love you, I love you. Happy (early) birthday, my bride.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The gift of today
Every day is a gift you've been given
Make the most of the time every minute you're livin'...
"Life Means So Much" -- Chris Rice
Today was a welcome respite from the meat grinder of last week. Mostly work, that is. I found myself once again inwardly fuming at what is going on at my workplace. Illogic drives me up the wall, and I felt like I was drowning in it, with all the changes in work coming at me. Don't get me wrong -- with the economy the way it is right now, I am truly grateful to have a job, and the post office has provided for me and my family in so many ways. Just wish that it would make more sense.
I have neglected the basics of what I believe for a long time now -- prayer, reading the Word and applying it -- that my reactions at work mirror so many of those who do not claim to be disciples of Jesus. (Side note -- if what I say is truly wrong -- please -- call me on it.) I can be abrasive, but should I be that way if I claim His name?
So what to do? Back to the basics. Make the most of the time I have every day and live it for the One I claim to follow. Live for Jesus and Him first.
Anyone want to come with me?
Make the most of the time every minute you're livin'...
"Life Means So Much" -- Chris Rice
Today was a welcome respite from the meat grinder of last week. Mostly work, that is. I found myself once again inwardly fuming at what is going on at my workplace. Illogic drives me up the wall, and I felt like I was drowning in it, with all the changes in work coming at me. Don't get me wrong -- with the economy the way it is right now, I am truly grateful to have a job, and the post office has provided for me and my family in so many ways. Just wish that it would make more sense.
I have neglected the basics of what I believe for a long time now -- prayer, reading the Word and applying it -- that my reactions at work mirror so many of those who do not claim to be disciples of Jesus. (Side note -- if what I say is truly wrong -- please -- call me on it.) I can be abrasive, but should I be that way if I claim His name?
So what to do? Back to the basics. Make the most of the time I have every day and live it for the One I claim to follow. Live for Jesus and Him first.
Anyone want to come with me?
Friday, September 11, 2009
Never forget...
"Let's roll..."
September 11, 2001 was not a day I was looking forward to. Not in terms of anything dealing with national security, however, but the fact that I was facing a very long work day.
I am a letter carrier, and have been so for over 14 years now. On this day, I was on a route that involved lots of apartments and lots of those flyers that show up in your mailbox once a week. Since I was still learning this particular route, I knew was that it was going to be a VERY long day. (Or in technical terms, ugh.)
I was still at the station when the attacks happened. Snow, rain, or dark of night, yes, but I didn't sign up for planes hitting buildings. As far as I know, the latter was not in the postal motto.
My girlfriend found me later on that day, relieved that I was fine. (We still are -- married for over six years now.) And the route got done, and I got better at it as time passed.
Those on Flight 93 saw a problem, and they did something about it, even at the cost of losing their lives, and protected us. They drew a line to tell those that would want to harm us -- no more. Not now, not ever again.
To those who are defending us -- this letter carrier says thank you.
September 11, 2001 was not a day I was looking forward to. Not in terms of anything dealing with national security, however, but the fact that I was facing a very long work day.
I am a letter carrier, and have been so for over 14 years now. On this day, I was on a route that involved lots of apartments and lots of those flyers that show up in your mailbox once a week. Since I was still learning this particular route, I knew was that it was going to be a VERY long day. (Or in technical terms, ugh.)
I was still at the station when the attacks happened. Snow, rain, or dark of night, yes, but I didn't sign up for planes hitting buildings. As far as I know, the latter was not in the postal motto.
My girlfriend found me later on that day, relieved that I was fine. (We still are -- married for over six years now.) And the route got done, and I got better at it as time passed.
Those on Flight 93 saw a problem, and they did something about it, even at the cost of losing their lives, and protected us. They drew a line to tell those that would want to harm us -- no more. Not now, not ever again.
To those who are defending us -- this letter carrier says thank you.
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